Advice for Women – Female Sexuality, Insights & Tips!

Some of us women may find that our sexual drive starts to wane as we hit our 40s or 50s. There is nothing to be worried about because this is normal for women and, even in some cases, for men. Men, however, tend to hit this phase much later in life. Nevertheless, there is something that you can do if ever you do find your sexual drive waning. Here are a few tips to help you get your groove back.

First, determine the cause of the decline. In most us, the natural course of aging, menopause, and depression are common culprits. Some of us may lose our libido as a side effect of medication. Whatever the problem is, address it. Menopause and depression can be cured by medication. If medication is the source, then ask your physician to prescribe an alternative that does not have this side effect. If the problem has something to do with your spouse, talk it over with him. Go to couples counseling if necessary.

Try to rekindle the love by engaging in fun activities with your spouse. It does not have to involve sexual intimacy right away. Start by holding hands and go on from there. Try spending night-outs with him, drinking wine and setting the mood before sex.

In bed, there are many adult toys and adult props you can use to increase your libido. These can range from lubricants you can buy at the drug store to sex swings that can put you more in the mood.

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If you’ve been married for several years, you know that marriage isn’t always a bed of roses. Although, there are several things you can do to spice things up — in and out of bed. Passion and excitement can make a difference in a marriage. You can be awakened from the lull of the day-to-day, such as the chores and responsibilities that you share with your spouse. If there’s passion and excitement in your marriage, you can somehow relive the time when you and your husband were a lot younger and had less care. Also, being passionate translates to having more fun and spice in the bedroom.

So how do you spice things up? Variation, for one thing, is sure to reignite dormant heat. Deviating from the routine may mean something as simple as picking up a small gift for him. It can also mean an extra special dinner you cooked just for your husband. Or, it can also be that extra accessory you bring to bed. Sex toys have been credited for renewed excitement between several couples, and you should definitely be openminded about using them. Cock rings and strap on sex toys are just some of the “props” that can liven up the sparks between you and your hubby.

Whatever it is you need to take to spice things up a bit, these steps are always worth it. Bringing back the spice in your marriage prevents relationship plateaus that can lead to boredom or, worse, infidelity.

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Sometimes, daily responsibilities and chores can douse the heat of wedded bliss. You and your husband may feel less inclined in getting hot and heavy. Or, you may just do the same old bed routine — out of habit or, worse, complacency.

Sex is an important part of a marital partnership. And the best way to keep things going is to keep things hot. So how can you do this with a partner/companion/husband you’ve been with for years? That’s actually where the “extras” come in.

Extras can pertain to prolonged foreplay that you start outside the bedroom. Write or text a sexy note for him to read while in the office. For sure, he won’t be able to wait to get home.

Or, it can mean bringing in implements, such as oral sex toys, into your lovemaking. There are different toys designed for him and for you, all of which intensify the sexual experience, such as prostate toys and pussy pumps.

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We all have our favorites when it comes to sexual positions and this is totally all right. However, there are positions that have come and stayed in our minds. These are so amazing that every woman should try them at least once.

1. The Deep Entry Position: This one has the man on top, the same old position you usually see and do, but this time, the position allows him to penetrate deeper. Your upper body is on the bed while your lower half is dangling on the floor.

2. The Squatting Position: This is a rear entry position where you support yourself with a chair.

3. Woman on Top: Of course, this will be on the list of must-trys. This position allows you to have complete control of his speed and the depth of his thrusts.

4. Sideways Position: This one is also an old favorite and a must. If you go for slow and romantic moves, this is it!

To make things more exciting, try using sex toys such as pleasure beads first before trying out any of these amazing lovemaking positions.

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Now, this topic has always been tricky. There are so many issues and sidesteps to take. Female sexuality is so unlike male sexuality. With most males, it’s a simple wham-bam to orgasm. With us women, however, sexuality is not merely that twinge in the pelvis.

For us, sexuality encompasses more than our sexual urges. If we just focus on these, we simplify everything, and usually, we don’t work that way. A woman’s sexual being is a mix of the erogenous zones, the mind, and, often, the emotions. From experience, our most intense orgasms have been with partners who not only stimulate the obvious body parts that need sexual attention. The best partners have been those who can also stimulate our mind and our heart.

So, unlike men with whom arousal may just be a matter of tugging at their bits or experimenting with sex enhancers or naughty toys, getting a woman “into it” is a little more difficult. As empowered women, we should be aware of this aspect of our lives. A keen awareness of our sexuality can lead us to have better sex lives.

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In the past, we may have been taught to shun our sexuality. We were supposed to be conservative housewives who kowtow to the needs of our husbands. In these modern times, we have become independent and self-sufficient, in and out of bed.

However, sex is still a difficult topic to discuss. Just how does a woman experience sex? Is there an “acceptable” standard? Are we all supposed to act like total hos? Or, are we still expected to have some restraint?

The answer is neither. We are free to be whoever we are in bed. The main goal is that we enjoy sex, in whatever way we need to.

This is easier said than done, of course. There is still that persistent veil when it comes to our sexual parts — figuratively and literally.

Literally, it does not help that our major erogenous areas are hidden. Unlike men who have easy access to their “thing,” our sexual organs are deep and are buried within folds of skin. It’s not so easy for a woman to explore and get to know herself sexually. But then, this is an important step in liberating the “real you” in bed and allowing yourself to enjoy sex more. Some experts suggest using adult toys as aids in self-exploration.

Begin to take the initial steps in this journey and, surely, you’ll enjoy what you find at the end of the road.

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Sexual fantasies and dreams are natural and harmless in themselves, but some of us women may feel guilty when the sexual fantasy starts to involve an inappropriate person, like an ex-boyfriend or girlfriend, a neighbor, or a co-worker. Those of us who are married and who start to have fantasies with people other than our spouses feel even guiltier. Women who have sexual fantasies, however, should NOT feel guilty about having them, since dreams cannot be controlled after all. In fact, dreams and fantasies are actually our mind’s way of telling us that we may have a problem that needs to be dealt with.

Inappropriate sexual fantasies may be the result of unresolved sexual desires or tension in your relationship. You may be feeling unsatisfied with the way things are going (in and out of bed) with your romantic and sexual partner. Fortunately, this is a problem that can be fixed by good old conversation. More often than not, there should be a resolve to spice things up a bit once in a while. So, a rekindling of the sexual fire is sometimes the best solution.

Sometimes, one of the best way of handling these dreams and fantasies is to just ignore them temporarily. You definitely cannot choose your dreams. Regarding fantasies, experts state that there’s nothing wrong with having them. Just as long as these fantasies do not interfere with the way you work and deal with people, then having them is perfectly all right. So, whether you’re fantasizing about using anal toys or a vibrator, then you have nothing to worry about.

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The big O has been harped about many times over in mainstream media and on the Internet. However, the sad fact is that not all of us women have gone there, and not all of us actually know how it feels to have orgasm. While it is easy to look to our sex partners for blame, that’s not always true. As empowered women, we are also responsible for our orgasms.

Just what is an orgasm and what does it feel like? Well, an orgasm is defined as the peak of a sexual response cycle. And physically, it feels like so — a climax or a culmination of the sexual act. This is when you experience involuntary or autonomic contractions in your pelvic area, around the sexual organs and the anus. And additionally, you may feel a full-body “release” that’s not just concentrated on the sex organs. You can even have an orgasm while using sex toys for women.

Each woman experiences different levels of orgasms. Some of us may feel only minor orgasms throughout our sex lives. Others can go through orgasmic heights, and they feel powerful surges in their climax. Some women even say that using cheap sex toys has helped them achieve multiple orgasms.

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Moving “up” from conventional sex to talking dirty can be a little bit tricky. Although, one advantage of being able to talk dirty in bed is that it adds variation and spice to vanilla sex. But then again, you can’t just switch from girl-next-door to bad girl in an instant. It can freak out your partner, or worse, you might end up being judged.

If you do decide to try dirty talk, start slowly. You may wish to write something dirty at first, instead of talking. Text or message him a short note about how hot your sexual encounter was the other day or how you look forward to your date tonight. The idea is to get a feel for how your partner feels about you talking dirty. You can even talk about the possibility of using sex toys.

If your partner is receptive to it, then you can be more descriptive the next time you make love. Describe how your partner makes you feel, and ask him how you make him feel during sex. Such openness can lead to more graphic word exchanges between you and your partner, whether in bed or during private conversations.

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