Gone are the days when sex is viewed solely to make babies. People have become more liberal about their views on sex and the pleasure they derive from doing it. So, it comes as a surprise that there are still women who, whether during sex or during masturbation, have not had an orgasm. And, believe it or not, some of these women are in their 40s.

Fact is, some of us women have the wrong notion of what an orgasm feels like. There may also be emotional barriers that prevent us from experiencing an orgasm. These barriers can range from feelings of insecurities in bed, thinking that sex is a dirty deed, and not just being relaxed during sex.

First, sex is a two-way street — you and your partner should feel good doing it. In short, both of you should have an orgasm. If you haven’t experienced an orgasm after sex, ask yourself what made sex somehow unpleasurable. Does your partner stop after he or she climaxes and leaves you hanging? Are you way too preoccupied pleasuring him and forgetting your own sexual needs? Perhaps, talking this over with your partner can solve this predicament. You can also suggest to your partner if you can incorporate sexual aids such as anal toys into your lovemaking. Who knows, these toys might help pave the way to an incredible orgasm for both you and your companion.

Second, sex with your partner is never a dirty deed. Just as long as you and your partner agree on what works for you both in bed, then sex can be exciting.

Third, just relax and go with the flow. When you’re relaxed, you enjoy sex more and you definitely will have an orgasm. To stay relaxed in bed means that you have to be in tune with your body’s sexual urges. Sometimes, women masturbate to find out what’s pleasurable and what’s not. And, just like sex, masturbation is not a dirty act.

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